Good morning, Grief

The days filled with bruises outlived the bliss
Each waking day turns into nostalgia
Reliving the unfinished “IT” 
Regrouping all my false belief

Opening and closing each day become the hardest
They remind me so much of my defeat
Even as I recreate my days and crack in laughter
Thoughts suddenly seep and quickly, I just go back in bleak

I smile and smile right in front of the people who love me
The people who wishes to make me happy, but the sadness haunts me
I see you in every car, in every city
Your ghost won’t just leave

My mind has decided it is not worth it,
I know I should have long taken a flight
It’s clear you arent my knight
My mind’s made up but my heart…
My heart is still crawling from the dark alley now branded with fright.

xx

Cards

That’s what happens when a woman is complete on her own.
No amount of attention nor praise can make her crave for you.
Shower her with time and effort, you’ll just make her skin crawl.
You can’t do anything to have her unless she wants you.

Frustrating isn’t it?
To not be able to make a prey out of a woman.
To not make her weak in the knees.
How does it feel to be beaten in your own game by the woman who won’t easily fall?

What Unugly Feels

I have bruises that never seem to heal
Rough patches
Ugly scratches
Cracks on my heel

Nose that only gets pointed in some angles
Freckles
Dark circles
With some filter, there’s that perfect beauty I steal

Increase the brightness
Remove the shadows
A little more contrast
Apply those wonder I call ugly-healing apps

Unkissable lips
Undainty fingertips
Absence of gap along those thick thighs
Ugh, let’s talk about my super wide hips

So they scream right into my ear
Liquify, liquify!
Rise, Hudson, Valencia, LoFi
But wait, what is really there to fear?

These are flaws everyone can’t (And shouldn’t deny)
They can mock
They can critizise
But I will wear them and not apologise.

Because when I see you, I want to be able to look into your eyes
I want a consistent view of what you see in the movies
What you see at plain sight
I want the reel and real to collide.

Whatever value you wish to put in my mind I’ll let you be.
I will fix the ones I wish to not see but who I am should not be downgraded by the naturals flaws I carry.
I will try to improve, progress and reinvent myself until I reach my kind of beauty but for now, filters and editing will continue to be my mortal enemies.