Of Houses and Homes

It was a mistake to pour your soul to someone you barely know
It was a mistake to assign your happiness in someone else’s hand
To expect other people to remove your worries and fears

It is a mistake to turn to,cling during moments of confusion and grief
To forget that you yourself is your number one hero
So wrong to let emotions run through a fragile vessel
So wrong to allow yourself to be open after a short chase

But is it really wrong to trust?
Is it wrong to think that people are kind and amazing and giving?
Well it is never wrong to feel
It is never wrong to ache, to experience whirlwind of emotions

It isn’t wrong to purely see the goodness of other people’s heart
To hope.
A bagfull of wishful thinking.
A night sky for dreaming.

There are no wrong emotions
Just wrong people
Not that we are right, they are just not the one

People arent custom built for us
Their capacity do not include holding our truths
Our type of energy, our strength or even our frailty

Hence, it is wrong to build home on a shaky ground
You may reach an almost but it will break the moment wind blows in a different direction.
It is wrong to get stuck in this kind of mud when you can pick your pieces and remember you already have your most solid ground

Yourself minus all the doubts.



A Little Better

Yesterday was a cry-fest.
It’s when you know that you have no way out but to have your total surrender.
Somehow, it felt good. Way, way better.
Some sort of catharsis I must say.
Exhausting, yeah but revealing.

You can claim you’re tough. You can make others believe you’re ok.
I’m the queen of Cs anyway.
Cool-calm-collected, always in control.
Always on top of my thing but sometimes it gets too real.

The rest of the night was spent indulging on a sin.
Nah, not really a sin.
But for me to waste hours tracking down the details feels so inconvenient
And to waste it all on unproductive amusement.

To cut it short,
I’m a bit paralyzed and am admitting that tonight.