A colleague asked, “Who made you stop loving?”
Person or two. Or three… or some more.
Few minutes ago, out of sheer assholery of Facebook, I was reminded.
But I don’t want to look back anymore.
Not angry nor sad, just no intention of continuously take steps backwards.
And even if my heart… my heart would want to cling to past.
There’s no use looking back.
Funny how life gives us juxtapositions while we’re busy chasing symmetries.
You know the feeling when you’re trying to avoid a certain memory?
How your brain Fs everything up and gives you more of it?
But really it’s not the outside world that creates this madness?
It’s really just inside your head.
The inexplicable coincidences
The random surge of the same car unit in the entire city
Suddenly, all parents gave their kids the same name in the 90s
Sometimes it puts a silly grin, other times, it makes you want to scream
The mere coincidence that wherever you go
Wherever you enter, you’ll hear the name
As if the Universe is mocking you
And the more you try to ignore, the more it persists
You cry for help, you tap out
But it’s there
Pushing you to remember
Teasing you more about your once upon a never
As if telling you to get used to it
Or maybe it’s helping you realize that a person, a place, or an event are all over
It’s all over – can be repeated
Can be replaced
Until we don’t realize how OK it is to reach game over, we will continue to have these strange encounters.
I’m super exhausted from work today but it is scary cos it’s my favorite kind of high.
The fulfillment I get…like an andrenaline rush.
I wonder if people feel the same way?
I wonder what version others have?
I’m struggling to find other facets in life that can give me such vibe. I know there’s more to life than this.
There are tiny versions like helping others or coffee picking or wandering but it is not as “makes-me-oblivious” kind.
I’m struggling to find ways to heal the hurt.
I’m struggling to find means to forget.
It is in our most emotional, vulnerable state that we pen our best or worst love letters.
But through this we find healing.
When our mind’s in constant battle with our heart and the forces beyond our control, writing becomes the safest option.
It is when we forget about those who might read our sighs and be judged are overpowered by our need to release all the pain.
Likes sketches, like half-finished drafts
We write and write until the world becomes different.
We will write and write in pain
Until the words turn into better emotions
We drop each bitterness bomb
Until we’re visited again by life-changing inspirations.
I can give you all the Kutcher quotes but it won’t change a thing.
We will constantly get in touch.
Forever looking after each other.
But still won’t end up together.
Picking up the crumbs
Taking off the laurels
Pulling all the remaining leaves
I wish my mind would just let me sleep
There are days that surprise
And the nights we despise
Tossing and turning
Hoping from ashes we rise