The days filled with bruises outlived the bliss
Each waking day turns into nostalgia
Reliving the unfinished “IT”
Regrouping all my false belief
Opening and closing each day become the hardest
They remind me so much of my defeat
Even as I recreate my days and crack in laughter
Thoughts suddenly seep and quickly, I just go back in bleak
I smile and smile right in front of the people who love me
The people who wishes to make me happy, but the sadness haunts me
I see you in every car, in every city
Your ghost won’t just leave
My mind has decided it is not worth it,
I know I should have long taken a flight
It’s clear you arent my knight
My mind’s made up but my heart…
My heart is still crawling from the dark alley now branded with fright.
Nothing can be far more tormenting than feeling 10, 000 miles away from someone you thought you’ve known to the core while sitting across a wooden table.
And I guess that’s the most courageous thing a person can ever do, dare to love.
To bring yourself to the possibilities of pain and discomfort.
For showing your most vulnerable version.
For allowing them to make or break you beyond your control.
And whenever I hear or learn someone’s heartbreak, I cannot help but be part of his/her pain.
I will always be that wolf who’ll always be an outsider of this arena.
The coward one.
The person who cannot be any of the above.
And I’m probably am the worst kind of coward.
It doesn’t mean I cannot love.
I just can’t put myself in such great ordeal.
At least not yet.
So to all those who are hurting.
For those who are still mending, I do wish I can offer you a cheer.
In the absence of that, I pray you peace.
You are an awesome being. I wish you’ll find recovery in such great ease.