I have learned how to swim in doubts
Pedal my way to the cycle of uncertainties
And run after things that dont deserve me.
While they hurt, it helped me gain energy to regain myself,
In order to win this marathon of rejection I didn’t really have to run, climb or sprint.
I can simply walk away by using my own feet.
The teared down walls are acknowledged
But, my friends, I leave no room for yesterdays.
Exerting effort embracing the now.
Happily moving forward to someday.
I’m super exhausted from work today but it is scary cos it’s my favorite kind of high.
The fulfillment I get…like an andrenaline rush.
I wonder if people feel the same way?
I wonder what version others have?
I’m struggling to find other facets in life that can give me such vibe. I know there’s more to life than this.
There are tiny versions like helping others or coffee picking or wandering but it is not as “makes-me-oblivious” kind.
I’m struggling to find ways to heal the hurt.
I’m struggling to find means to forget.
No Harry & Sally while poppin and chugging wine or martini.
I’ll happily replace it with a bunch of Kate Hudson movies and loads of Love Actually’s.
I’m happily moving on.
2016 will be the last that I’d ever consider a you for me.
That’s the thing when you let some light in
You’d crave for more
You’ll realize how your life WAS such a bore
But sometimes we just get a glimpse
Luck doesn’t always come in heaps.
I want to wake up happy.
I want it to happen more often.
If possible, each day.
If not, every time I remember to pray.
The kind of happiness that erases doubts.
The kind of joy that sees goodness more than anything else.
My heart no longer wishes to meet people and see the worst.
Don’t want to greet each waking hour thinking of stress.
This time I want to hope for better …
No more unwanted outbursts.
Not really hoping for immediate laugh out louds
or for frequent highs
Just some constant fun
Maybe, just maybe a little smile, a little less sigh.
I would love to stop being cynical.
Leave the negative world behind; the judging, the unforgiving kind.
I’d like to share more happy stories to everyone.
Not another story of despair.
I wish to share gladness that for some time I’ve become unaware.
To spread happiness around.
To shed some light.
To share a world that is bright.
A total shift in attitude.
2015 is going to be a year of gratitude.