Musings

I’m super exhausted from work today but it is scary cos it’s my favorite kind of high.

The fulfillment I get…like an andrenaline rush.
I wonder if people feel the same way?
I wonder what version others have?

I’m struggling to find other facets in life that can give me such vibe. I know there’s more to life than this.
There are tiny versions like helping others or coffee picking or wandering but it is not as “makes-me-oblivious” kind.

I’m struggling to find ways to heal the hurt.
I’m struggling to find means to forget.

xx

Goals

I want to wake up happy.

Happier.
I want it to happen more often.
If possible, each day.
If not, every time I remember to pray.
The kind of happiness that erases doubts.
The kind of joy that sees goodness more than anything else.

My heart no longer wishes to meet people and see the worst.
Don’t want to greet each waking hour thinking of stress.
This time I want to hope for better …
No more unwanted outbursts.

Not really hoping for immediate laugh out louds
or for frequent highs
Just some constant fun
Maybe, just maybe a little smile, a little less sigh.

I would love to stop being cynical.
Leave the negative world behind; the judging, the unforgiving kind.
I’d like to share more happy stories to everyone.
Not another story of despair.
I wish to share gladness that for some time I’ve become unaware.

To spread happiness around.
To shed some light.
To share a world that is bright.
A total shift in attitude.

2015 is going to be a year of gratitude.

xx