How come people…how come I have this great longing for past grief?
Sometimes the pain don’t weigh as much but there’s a space for it.
There’s a gap that you cannot fill with joy and abundance.
There’s a space left unfilled you let an old scar stay.
Today, I catch up with an old, barely relevant scar.
Only because the new tissue hasn’t fully developed.
I know the new hello will cause nothing but prolong the replacement.
But this is a human process.
And as much as I hate it, I acknowledge its existence.
And hope somewhere along this process of taking one step forward, two steps back…
I will somehow …eventually reach my full stop and trace the outline of my healing point.
The days filled with bruises outlived the bliss
Each waking day turns into nostalgia
Reliving the unfinished “IT”
Regrouping all my false belief
Opening and closing each day become the hardest
They remind me so much of my defeat
Even as I recreate my days and crack in laughter
Thoughts suddenly seep and quickly, I just go back in bleak
I smile and smile right in front of the people who love me
The people who wishes to make me happy, but the sadness haunts me
I see you in every car, in every city
Your ghost won’t just leave
My mind has decided it is not worth it,
I know I should have long taken a flight
It’s clear you arent my knight
My mind’s made up but my heart…
My heart is still crawling from the dark alley now branded with fright.