I am free.
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am indeed free.
Maybe remembering could sometimes be difficult when you didn’t ask for it.
But then again, why be sad about it? Really?
I am free.
My hours are mine.
I own the sea.
I am free.
There’s nothing to pity.
I define liberty.
I am free.
Nobody can take that away from me.
Not unless I want to then just let me be.
Sometimes I want to but most couldn’t see.
Step after step I pause
Thinking lift after lift
You should be beside me as I cross
I often thought of these things as part of our clause
Not a single plan that came across without you in my mind
For all the things I wish, you have aways been considered
And even with the last stroke of my wishing wand, I would give it up
You mean that much
And all the while I thought there’s nothing like our bond.
But step after step
You take a sideway glance
You are silently taking a path
Far away from where I stand
Creating plans after plans
As you march with a different band
Quietly seeking for things away
As you silently let go of my hand
I hope I never forget the beauty of full moon and the night sky,
of watching milk make galaxies even in my darkest cup of coffee,
the warm ray of sunshine that keeps my cheeks rosy
or seeing plants grow despite my scarce caring capacity.
Most specially, the kind strangers and the music that vibrates around that make life easy.
I hope I never forget to count these bits of heaven whether the cup’s half full or half empty.
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone...
A good old favorite
And now I revisit and be reminded, indeed this journey is all my own.
There’s that bittersweet taste of going back home.
Of leaving and coming back.
I made a decision that most people will find odd.
A faulty step that needs a quick reroute.
Watch out! Watch out! they all seem to scream.
But who cares? I also have dreams.
A revisit I must say.
This home is my fortress.
This home, that made me cry and tried my patience is the same home that cradled me when nobody wanted to see my best.
This home made me feel alive even when there’s no one to confide.
In this solitary walk I found this place as my perfect cup of comfort.
When no friends, family or enemy would understand, this home held my hand.
Staying in never made me feel like I am just an ordinary guest.
And who knows but this may be just a temporary rest?
And no you won’t hear me defend my choices.
Nobody, no one in the past knew my worsts while I opted for a personal conquest.
Not a single soul was bothered when I cried in pain.
Nobody knew my shame.
So now that I made a choice to rekindle an old flame, let it be known that only I can play my own blame game.
I have a very good problem on hand.
I don’t even have to resolve it tonight.
But I am a “I-won’t-sleep-unless-I-have-the-answer” kind.
My hours had been taken over by thoughts.
My thoughts had been taken over by some ghost.
A ghost of a past that haunts.
Again, I don’t need answers tonight.
But maybe by sharing this I can find my own flight.
Or maybe I will wake up with that familiar light.
You twist my keys like some miniature doll
Put me so high
Then push me too low
Am left with no choice but drown
Year in and year out I ask
When will this stop?
Nights and days passed
You still get the last laugh
All these years
You make me feel like I have the power
With just one stir
I see your wicked grim on top of your dark tower
A move done in haste
Now all the effort’s gone to waste
Moment where we… I got stuck
No longer there
But the nagging feeling keeps on creeping in
Leaving the case open
A route I knew I shouldn’t take
Oh man,yeah I know… I failed
But there are things we cannot take back
And also things that dont deserve our counter-attack
We smile and go ahead
Laugh at our own mistake
The funny shade of blue
Not really my choice of hue
But what done is done
What gone is gone
A shallow retreat
That ends with none