I’m super exhausted from work today but it is scary cos it’s my favorite kind of high.
The fulfillment I get…like an andrenaline rush.
I wonder if people feel the same way?
I wonder what version others have?
I’m struggling to find other facets in life that can give me such vibe. I know there’s more to life than this.
There are tiny versions like helping others or coffee picking or wandering but it is not as “makes-me-oblivious” kind.
I’m struggling to find ways to heal the hurt.
I’m struggling to find means to forget.
I equate dandelions with wishes.
It’s an old saying.
The way I believe in 11:11’s, wishing stars or fallen lashes.
And if I have all these magic to make things work, I will gather them tightly today.
I rarely hold on to something but last August was kind of amazing.
And how I wish, this year, I can say the same thing.
Step after step I pause
Thinking lift after lift
You should be beside me as I cross
I often thought of these things as part of our clause
Not a single plan that came across without you in my mind
For all the things I wish, you have aways been considered
And even with the last stroke of my wishing wand, I would give it up
You mean that much
And all the while I thought there’s nothing like our bond.
But step after step
You take a sideway glance
You are silently taking a path
Far away from where I stand
Creating plans after plans
As you march with a different band
Quietly seeking for things away
As you silently let go of my hand
It’s amazing how the years debunked and affirmed the things I once declared.
Funny how my 7-year old self knew she’d love high ceilings, wooden stairs and glass panels.
In the same way I learned that my 11-year old self’s ideal man is no longer worth a 5-second stare.