Good morning, Grief

The days filled with bruises outlived the bliss
Each waking day turns into nostalgia
Reliving the unfinished “IT” 
Regrouping all my false belief

Opening and closing each day become the hardest
They remind me so much of my defeat
Even as I recreate my days and crack in laughter
Thoughts suddenly seep and quickly, I just go back in bleak

I smile and smile right in front of the people who love me
The people who wishes to make me happy, but the sadness haunts me
I see you in every car, in every city
Your ghost won’t just leave

My mind has decided it is not worth it,
I know I should have long taken a flight
It’s clear you arent my knight
My mind’s made up but my heart…
My heart is still crawling from the dark alley now branded with fright.

xx

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Hell Yes

Will there be a point when a person will get so used to rejection?
Is there a particular number of NO’s or Sorry’s to count before you say
“Hey, it’s ok!” and mean it?
Totally mean it?

Not the OK where you cry inside but the OK like it’s totally-fine-I-wont-event-have-to-get-over-it fine.

Like a goal that once fulfilled you’ll be so immune to declines, a yes or a no would just feel the same.

Because to be honest, it hurts.

No matter how often.
Whoever utters the words.
It hurts even when expected.
It hurts even when you come prepared.

xx