Transience

We live in the dream that all are set according to our preferred timeline.
When they stop or where to begin.
But we couldn’t.
We shouldn’t.

There are no bounds or limits.
What will happen, will happen.
The ball will keep on rolling
Even as we choose to stand still.

Time is just a concept.
It can move slowly or slip too fast.
Sundays will come and return.
Even permanence becomes a mere transience.

Liberty

I am free.
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am indeed free.
Maybe remembering could sometimes be difficult when you didn’t ask for it.
But then again, why be sad about it? Really?

I am free.
My hours are mine.
Choices.
I own the sea.

I am free.
My life.
There’s nothing to pity.
I define liberty.

I am free.
Nobody can take that away from me.
Not unless I want to then just let me be.
Sometimes I want to but most couldn’t see.

xx

Strange Encounters

You know the feeling when you’re trying to avoid a certain memory?
How your brain Fs everything up and gives you more of it?
But really it’s not the outside world that creates this madness?
It’s really just inside your head.

The inexplicable coincidences
The random surge of the same car unit in the entire city
Suddenly, all parents gave their kids the same name in the 90s
Sometimes it puts a silly grin, other times, it makes you want to scream

The mere coincidence that wherever you go
Wherever you enter, you’ll hear the name
As if the Universe is mocking you
And the more you try to ignore, the more it persists

You cry for help, you tap out
But it’s there
Pushing you to remember
Teasing you more about your once upon a never

As if telling you to get used to it
Or maybe it’s helping you realize that a person, a place, or an event are all over
It’s all over – can be repeated
Can be replaced

Until we don’t realize how OK it is to reach game over, we will continue to have these strange encounters.

xx

Musings

I’m super exhausted from work today but it is scary cos it’s my favorite kind of high.

The fulfillment I get…like an andrenaline rush.
I wonder if people feel the same way?
I wonder what version others have?

I’m struggling to find other facets in life that can give me such vibe. I know there’s more to life than this.
There are tiny versions like helping others or coffee picking or wandering but it is not as “makes-me-oblivious” kind.

I’m struggling to find ways to heal the hurt.
I’m struggling to find means to forget.

xx

Night & Day

2.jpg

This could be a little less eloquent as I am writing in a strange fashion such as spontaneity.
I am not one.
It is so soothing for me whenever I have all things clearly defined.
And today, and in the days to come, I may have to jump to uncertainties.

All brilliant articles are saying things will be fine.
Confusion and being lost are good for the soul.
Hundreds and hundreds of assuring words.
Still, I remain terrified.

And as the hasty sunset kiss the dusk.
I quietly plead for light.
With only hope is the star from afar
I jump and dive and take the flight.

Cos in between the fear and fright
I hear my heart whisper,
There’s no other way to see the dawn but to endure the passing of the night.

xx