Non-Negotiable

There will be experiences in your life that will put you to the edge
There, you’ll meet a version of yourself you’ve never encountered before
And in the process this new version will cross paths with old people in your life
They may find it refreshing
Scary
Or not the person they really liked
It can be an angel or a monster that even you didn’t know exist

And it should be okay
You will discover facets of you that once weren’t there
And it will reveal you to the rest
Never let that new person hide

Always show them who you are

The ones who encountered the depths of you long before will know how to tame it
The rest, understand if they can’t
It is the natural way of life sifting through what’s essential
You move forward with the new you
With the old ones who want to
And then the rest, bid them a sweet adieu

Your new world will be filled with new ones who will like it
You will always find a world to fit in
Just with different characters
But never let anyone let you hide who you have become

You are all the changes that happened in your life
Every experience
Every pain
Every tragedy

Honor them

xx

Grand Design

Nothing ever slips
No missed opportunities
No bad timing
Nothing ever slips

What could have been is just that
Could have’s
Has it been the right thing or person
It would have happened

Nothing ever slips
Trust that
What’s meant will always be meant
No matter how far, no matter how long

What didn’t work out
Just couldn’t be
No matter how much we try
No matter how much we wanted it to be

Nothing slips
Nothing ever goes away unless it should
What’s ours is ours
What isn’t, will never be

So allow yourself to flee from regrets
You made choices
Life made reroutes
Fate brought something else

Sleep in peace
Let go of what’s heavy
Let what isn’t yours move freely
Give that space for what’s meant to be.

xx

For My Noodles

You always arrive when I can’t handle it anymore
It’s as if you’re my brain’s personal first aid
You are my nicest memory and when things in real life goes out of hand
My thoughts go back to you

I’ve already closed that chapter with you
But out of impulse I always go back
A mannerism that I can’t retract

You were in my dream last night, love
You finally came back from your long trip
And like a true friend that you are
You came bearing gifts from where you’ve been
You had stuff for everyone cos you’ve always been the generous type
But I had two
One is like the ones you brought for all

But when we were left alone driving in the city
You handed the other one to me
A red box neatly wrapped with ribbon on top
Nobody will mistake its theirs cos you’ve written my whole name

It has been so hard to smile genuinely the past few days, love
But that moment I saw my eyes lit up
Like a little girl with an actual present
But then I woke up
From there I knew reality’s so fucked up

I don’t dream of you anymore
I’ve peacefully closed that door
You only pass by when I can’t handle my reality anymore
And that’s just the real score

I tried to sleep again
Hoping I could open my present
I went back to dreaming but it transported me into my new reality
To that person who wasn’t sure of me
Who even in my dreams failed to see me

Love, it’s so wrong to ask for your return
But tonight when I sleep, can you let me unbox the gift and know what lessons to learn?
I just have no one else to turn.
xx

Micro Moments

It was a short pit stop from a long trip
Worn out bus with partially opened, some even incomplete window
It was the usual noise of a typical ordinary bus trip
But we had our phones playing some old tunes
We sang to Foo Fighters at the back
While I wore my sepia-tainted sunglasses
Belting tunes with my then best friend
Who I used to sit with

___________________________

Filter was then a new thing
I didn’t know how to properly frame it
But the skies that day was in some hopeful shade of blue
I just transferred from the 8th
Everything was new including my officemate
but then he said goodbye, said couldn’t come home late
So I bid my farewell
After all, he’s just a stranger
The night skies completely showed
I had to call him back
He’s got the key to keep the doors closed

__________________________

It was scorching hot
Brightest daylight
But the water was cold
It was so clear too
The farthest I have reached
He told me to go on
I asked what if I couldn’t breathe?
He held me until I learned to float
And float I did
I was there, suspended for a few minutes
Forgot the world and the pain that comes with it
But then I flipped, I think I lost my sunglasses
We laughed when I realized I was wearing it

Love is Blind

I didn’t know the very essence of this saying until I went through it
Back then I thought they were talking about facade,
an outer layer deemed less worthy
The shallowness of it all

Not until I walked this road did I learn about its depth
The kind that sucks the joy right off your chest
So deep it leaves you empty
So painful it wreaks havoc in your head

The glaring light of truth
Couldn’t stop a lover’s virtue
You love and love despite
You try and try as much

Closing your eyes to the deceptions and lies
Making all the wrong seem right
You’ll meet its depth when everything hurts yet you still think it’s worth the fight.

xx

Four Leaf Clover

It could have been a much wiser decision to stay away from danger.
To finally make up my mind and do what’s right.
To simply think.

But thinking has been my tool for years.
It made things safe.
But safe doesn’t illicit joy.
Safe is not warmth.
Safe doesn’t hug you in the middle of the night.

Loose End

It always feels easier to let go when you’ve given all that you have.
That final moment when you just throw in the towel and feel at ease knowing you’ve done all you can.
Squeezed everything that you have, you’ll reach a point when it doesn’t matter what you get in the end.
There’s nothing more to lose.
You either win or you learn.