Unsubscribing

I’m signing out, unsubscribing. 
Have to give my letter to whoever handles the queuing system for relationships.

Whoever wrote about love being sweet, cathartic, euphoric, and all these massive descriptions can everybody please fall in line? I have lots of questions for everyone. 
How come I never read about sudden pangs? Moments of indescribable emotion? 
Fckng roller coaster of emotions? 
I woke up feeling light as a feather now I feel like gathering everyone who made me believe that love is wonderful and give them some dressing down. 
William, Edgar, John, etc. you guys capitalized on this emotion! You made riches out of this notion.

How come it doesn’t feel like that at all? 
How come I feel confused, shakened and lost?

Just like in any business, I wish there’s money back guarantee.

Love isn’t for me.

glimpse

Hey I thought I just had a peek.                

Chance to check this thing they call…well, love?          

Alright! Not really but I guess it gave me a side glance [at the very least]. 

And it truly makes me want to cry.                    

Tears seems like for grief than joy.                  

At last, as last. Finally, finally.                        

But for some reason, it’s painful. It feels like I am separating with my old self.                        

For several years I am my own love. I relied to no one. Felt nothing.            

Suddenly the one thing I thought I always wanted is the same thing I would want to run away from. For some strange reason I cannot accept the thought that I’m leaving the old me behind. It feels like betraying the tough version of me. It feels like giving up to a non-existent pact. 

It was just a glimpse how much more the real act? 

 

xx

Why is it so painful to grow up?