They, too, deserve the love you keep on chasing.

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Triathlon

I have learned how to swim in doubts

Pedal my way to the cycle of uncertainties

And run after things that dont deserve me.

While they hurt, it helped me gain energy to regain myself,
In order to win this marathon of rejection I didn’t really have to run, climb or sprint.
I can simply walk away by using my own feet.

xx

Under Attack

A colleague asked, “Who made you stop loving?”
Person or two. Or three… or some more.

Few minutes ago, out of sheer assholery of Facebook, I was reminded.
But I don’t want to look back anymore.
Not angry nor sad, just no intention of continuously take steps backwards.
And even if my heart… my heart would want to cling to past.
No.

There’s no use looking back.

xx

F5 History

How come people…how come I have this great longing for past grief?
Sometimes the pain don’t weigh as much but there’s a space for it.
There’s a gap that you cannot fill with joy and abundance.
There’s a space left unfilled you let an old scar stay.

Today, I catch up with an old, barely relevant scar.
Only because the new tissue hasn’t fully developed.
I know the new hello will cause nothing but prolong the replacement.
But this is a human process.
And as much as I hate it, I acknowledge its existence.

And hope somewhere along this process of taking one step forward, two steps back…
I will somehow …eventually reach my full stop and trace the outline of my healing point.

xx

Transience

We live in the dream that all are set according to our preferred timeline.
When they stop or where to begin.
But we couldn’t.
We shouldn’t.

There are no bounds or limits.
What will happen, will happen.
The ball will keep on rolling
Even as we choose to stand still.

Time is just a concept.
It can move slowly or slip too fast.
Sundays will come and return.
Even permanence becomes a mere transience.

Liberty

I am free.
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I am indeed free.
Maybe remembering could sometimes be difficult when you didn’t ask for it.
But then again, why be sad about it? Really?

I am free.
My hours are mine.
Choices.
I own the sea.

I am free.
My life.
There’s nothing to pity.
I define liberty.

I am free.
Nobody can take that away from me.
Not unless I want to then just let me be.
Sometimes I want to but most couldn’t see.

xx